International Man of Mystery (1997) (2024)

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)

In this first installment of the PG-rated series of James Bond spy-movie spoofs with Mike Myers - it was a fast-paced comedy filled with gags (both verbal and visual) and numerous catchphrases such as: "Bee-have," "Sake it to me baby!", "Yeah, baby, yeah," "Do I make you horny, baby?" and "Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?":

in the year 1967, British spy Austin Powers' (Mike Myers) threatening arch-nemesis Dr. Evil (also Myers) (modeled after Blofeld in the James Bond films) gathered together six deadly assassins commissioned in his lair in Nevada to kill "Britain's top secret agent"
the James Bondian agent - Austin Powers was introduced in London in the swingin' 60s, with his partner 1960s Emma Peel-like Mrs. Kensington (Mimi Rogers); he was able to prevent his own assassination attempt by Dr. Evil during a "swingin' shindig" in a London nightclub - the Electric Psychedelic puss*cat Swinger's Club; after mis-firing a dart into the back of his own assassin, Dr. Evil escaped onto the rooftop and entered a space-rocket (and its "Cryogenic Freezing" chamber), disguised as a giant Bob's Big Boy statue, and warned: "See you in the future, Mr. Powers"
30 years later in 1997, NORAD reported that Dr. Evil's Big Boy space rocket had entered the Earth's atmosphere over Nevada; in London, the Ministry of Defence decided to unfreeze Austin from his cryogenic state; [Note: in London in 1967, Powers had volunteered to have himself frozen "in case Dr. Evil should return," so that he could be defrosted to combat him.] The female narrator asked as the agent was brought back to life: "Who is this Austin Powers? The ultimate gentleman spy -- irresistible to women, deadly to his enemies, a legend in his own time"
the defrosting process was described in stages: "Attention. Stage one: laser cutting begins. Laser cutting complete. Stage two: warm liquid goo phase beginning. Warm liquid goo phase complete. Stage three: reanimation beginning. Reanimation complete. Stage four: cleansing beginning. Cleansing complete. Stage five: evacuation beginning. Evacuation comp..., Evacuation comp... Comp... Comp... Evacuation comp..."; a naked Austin was first seen endlessly evacuating (peeing) behind a frosted screen with a female-voice announcer keeping track of his progress
Powers was to be acclimated to the 1990s with the help of an associate "top agent" named Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley), Mrs. Kensington's daughter
during a cataloguing of Austin Powers' possessions and embarrassed by the presence of Vanessa, he denied that a Swedish-made penis enlarger pump was his, although it was found with his credit card receipt, warranty card, and a book he authored about using the pump: ("That's not mine...I don't even know what this is. This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby"); another personal effect included a Burt Bacharach record
Dr. Evil had set up new headquarters in the desert outside Las Vegas; Evil's main associate was one-eye-patched businessman Number Two (Robert Wagner), who had been running Evil's multi-million dollar empire (known as Virtucon) - "the legitimate face of my evil empire"; the objective of Dr. Evil's empire was to hijack nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage
Evil maintained a bizarre relationship with his resentful cloned son Scott Evil (Seth Green); he was told by his associate - militant Salvation Army founder Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling) - (a parody of Rosa Klebb in From Russia With Love), that his son was artificially-created in a laboratory (with Evil's frozen sem*n) during his 30 year absence; after first meeting his son, Dr. Evil asked repeatedly: "Can I have a hug?", but also kept shushing Scott: ("Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh!"); Scott refused a hug and called Evil a "lazy-eyed psycho"

Dr. Evil's Plan To Hold World Hostage

Number Two (Robert Wagner)

Dr. Evil Shushing His Son Scott

with the warhead, Evil suggested demanding an inflation-challenged ransom of $1 million dollars ("One... MEEE-llion dollars!"), not realizing that this amount of ransom wasn't as threatening in the 1990s as it was in the 1960s; Number Two suggested a larger, inflation-based figure (since Virtucon was already making $9 billion a year): "Don't you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days"; Dr. Evil upwardly revised his ransom to $100 billion dollars!; Dr. Evil's main scheme was to blackmail the UN about his threat of nuclear weapons, but they refused as a general policy to negotiate with terrorists
working together, Powers jetted off with Vanessa to Las Vegas, Nevada in his "groovy" psychedelically-painted private jumbo jet, while he continually attempted to seduce her; in Vegas, Vanessa and Powers shared a casino hotel room and posed as a married couple; they tracked Number Two to Las Vegas, and met him and his busty "Italian confidential secretary" Alotta fa*gina (Fabiana Udenio) at a blackjack table
in their casino hotel room while phoning her mother, glamorous "shagadelic" Vanessa was advised about Powers: "Women want him, and men want to be him" -- Powers cavorted around naked as his private parts were strategically hidden and covered by various objects - a magnifying glass, a wine bottle, a water pitcher, etc.


Austin Teasingly Hiding his Private Parts

Powers was instructed to find out what part Evil's Virtucon played in "Project Vulcan" - by visiting Alotta fa*gina's penthouse immediately; he learned that Project Vulcan was a scheme to drill deep underground and drive a nuclear warhead into the Earth's core, to trigger volcanic eruptions worldwide
in one of the funnier scenes, Austin joined Alotta fa*gina as she entered her hot-tub and stripped naked: ("Come in, and I'll show you everything you need to know"); as she washed him, she found his business card and discovered his true identity -- Austin Powers -- causing her to further seduce him
the evil empire, due to a suggestion by Frau Farbissina, conspired to defeat Austin Powers with their "ultimate weapon" - a series of Fembots (introduced with Nancy Sinatra's singing of "These Boots Were Made For Walking"); they were beautiful blonde android replicants, wearing white boots and two piece outfits. They were "the latest word in android replicant technology. Lethal, Efficient, Brutal. No man can resist their charms." They had protruding gunbarrels that emerged from their bikini-covered breasts [the Fembots' brassieres were based on the one worn by Ursula Andress in the cult Italian sci-fi movie The 10th Victim (1965)]. They demonstrated their lethal breast-weapons on emasculated guards.


The Fembots With "Machine Gun" Boobs: (Cheryl Bartel, Cindy Margolis, Donna W. Scott, Barbara Ann Moore, Cynthia Lamontagne)

Evil delivered an inappropriate Family Counseling speech to his therapy group about his shocking childhood: ("The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin?...When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicl*s. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I highly suggest you try it")
Vanessa (disguised as a cowgirl) and Austin (as a bearded guru) attempted to infiltrate the Virtucon headquarters during a guided tour; after leaving the group and steamrolling over a guard, they were apprehended by Dr. Evil's Korean ex-wrestler and evil henchman, Random Task (Joe Son); inside Dr. Evil's underground lair, they watched as Dr. Evil presented his final ultimatum to the UN regarding his Vulcan subterranean drill that could deliver a 50-kiloton nuclear warhead into the liquid hot core of the planet; left with no other choice, the UN decided to pay the ransom, although Dr. Evil still proceeded with his project
after Vanessa and Powers escaped, Austin came upon the Fembots who tried to seduce him by wearing purple fuzzy teddy-bear nightgowns - they asked Austin: "Care to have a little fun?" - one of them jumped onto his shoulders, while the others protruded tubes from their breasts ("jumblies," British slang) (he asked: "Is it cold in here?") and sprayed him with a pink-colored gas; Powers found himself lying in bed with the Fembots, who stroked him to tantalize him, as he attempted to think of distracting things: "Baseball, cold showers...Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day..."
after they challenged him: "You can't resist us, Mr. Powers," he was able to outwit and defeat the seductive android females by performing a sexy strip-tease "Dance of Death" (down to Union Jack red underwear and hairy chest) to the tune of "I Touch Myself," causing them to short-circuit with sexual electricity as their heads twitched violently and then exploded
accompanied by British forces during a raid of Dr. Evil's headquarters, there was a stand-off between both sides when Number 2 unexpectedly tried to betray Dr. Evil by making a deal with Powers; a trap door activated by Dr. Evil eliminated Number 2; Evil then initiated a 30-second "SELF DESTRUCT" mechanism to blow up the complex, and again escaped in his cryogenic freezing chamber/Big Boy rocketship, while Vanessa and Austin also safely fled in their SWINGER sportscar parked outside
in the final classic honeymoon scene three months later, Austin Powers and Vanessa were in their hotel room's bedroom suite; as they talked on a videophone to British Intelligence Agent Basil Exposition (Michael York), the two were cleverly shielded by various objects as they moved about naked, before being told that Dr. Evil had escaped in his rocket - although he had disappeared from the tracking system

Hidden Private Parts with Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley)

suddenly, they were attacked by Random Task posing as room service; he was subdued with Powers' penis-enlargement pump, while Vanessa knocked him out with a champagne bottle; on their balcony, the two viewed the night sky, where they spied one "big star" - Dr. Evil's spaceship